How do kids react to the breakup?
Posted by Salsero77 on February 05 2010 05:36:21
Divorce is a difficult issue both for adults and kids; therefore it is appropriate for the parents to make it as easy as possible for their sons. To know how is a child reaction to divorce can be related to his age, therefore to estimate how he can be prepared to this painful breakup his parents are going to have. If the child’s age is:
Not born already (during pregnancy): It is probable that the child would feel though and suffer from the breakup at a point that can lead to consequences such as low birth weight, and cognitive or emotive problems.
From 1 to 3 years: The baby would become very shy and behave like a younger child, therefore demanding more attention. He also would probably have troubles to sleep because he would start to have more nightmares.
From 3 to 6 years: The kid does not understand what a divorce is but he has noticed somebody isn’t sleeping at home. It is probable he can react either being very obedient (thinking that he would perhaps make the parent get back home), or start behaving in an aggressive or rebel way. Kids would also deny their parents breakup with games and telling friends and family they are still together.
From 6 to 9 years: Feelings of rejection appear on kids of this age as the same time as dreams of the reconciliation of their parents. Moreover the kids would experience conflicts between the loves for their mother and the one for their father. It is important that parents don’t neglect their kids in this important time, because they would start to take big responsibilities like taking care of their brothers or make their own food.
From 9 to 12 years: Kids would by this age express shame about their parents’ breakup and maybe anger for the one that took the divorce decision. Moreover, they would try to make their parents reconcile while also experiencing somatic afflictions such as head or stomach ache.
In teenagers the consequences would be associated with an increase of their bad habits such as smoking, drinking alcohol or being in drugs, all this as part of an aggressive and rebel conduct. But also there is the chance that the teenager takes the role of the absent parent and becomes a more responsible person.
It is necessary to know that not all kids have the same reactions as we have said for their age, but may be related to some of them. In any case the divorce experience would have a long term positive effect on your kids, as long as you take special care on them and help them find their way. They would become more conscious and mature than kids that haven’t lived that experience.